The Most Amazing Thing Ever

So, I was flying to Lansing, MI today, and had two amazing experiences. First, on the plane between SLC and Chicago, I was a little worried. They told us to get out our safety pamphlets whilst they were explaining all the features of the plane's safety system. I looked around, and I was the only one looking at the little brochure. It was a little unnerving. If the plane went down, I would have to be in charge of keeping everyone safe, because I was the only one with the superior knowledge of the plane's features. It was a heavy responsibility, and was a difficult burden to bear. Also, the guy next to me ate peanuts and a brick of cheese the whole flight, so that was weird. Now, now to the most exciting thing ever. Introducing, a new way to keep your tail clean whilst you do your business: According to DF, "Its about time!" Thanks to the Firths for being so amazing.