Chicken or Egg

So, for one of my seminar classes, I had to write a quick one page essay on the time honored debate between the chicken and egg. Without consulting anything or anyone, I wrote the following, and was somewhat proud of myself: The chicken. Regardless of who you ask, you get the same answer. A chef will say the chicken, as it takes about 45 minutes to bake a whole chicken, whereas only 5 to cook an egg. Given we want all the food hot when we serve it at the same time, we start with the chicken first. A statistically savvy southern gentleman will concur, knowing that, in expectation, the chicken comes first, as there is a 1.00 probability that any given chicken is female and deserving of his courtesy (“ladies first”), whereas there is only a .50 probability that an egg deserves the same courtesy and would come first. A shopper agrees—chicken should be picked up first and placed on the bottom of the cart, the eggs last, so as to minimize the chance of breaking them whilst shopping. The grocer also puts the chicken first—given that there is much more product differentiation in poultry, and thus higher margin can be gained, he wants to sell chicken first. The lower margin, commodity like egg is hardly worth selling. The baby agrees—babies should not eat whole eggs (as the whites are harmful) until they are 12 months, ground chicken can be served well before that. Google agrees. The philosopher also concurs. All chickens have been eggs, but not all eggs have been (or ever will be) chickens. Thus, an egg is merely a special case of the phenomena known as “chicken”, and a special case cannot precede its general rule. The Christian theologian is quick to remind us that fowls (including, perhaps, chickens) were created by God as early as Genesis 1:20, whereas eggs are not biblically mentioned until Deuteronomy 22:6. While often at odds, the Orthodox Jew concurs—he can always eat a well prepared chicken, whereas eggs from a very few number of fowls are permitted for eating. Given a random draw from “chicken” and “egg”, he will pick the chicken, keeping true to his divinely mandated diet. President Obama also agrees, citing some reason that seems convincing to the mindless masses, but, upon inspection, makes no sense at all. Pressed, he reminds us that former President Bush was in favor of the egg (it being a shorter word, thus, easier to spell), and so chicken is clearly the correct choice in such a changelful society.