My Pits

So, I have sensitive armpits*. It is not something I am proud of, but, it is my lot in life to have sensitive pits. When I was in high school this was a serious problem, as my pits had some serious problems with some regular deodorant.

So, one day, my mom bought me what she called "special" deodorant (Kevin also got "special deodorant, brand name Mitchum). It worked well. The brand my mom bought me was called Almay. I thought all was well and good, I wore my special deodorant and was able to go around, not smelling, and I didn't have irritated pits any more.

Then, one day, I got to reading the back of the deodorant container. It said "Safe enough to use, even right after shaving." I got to thinking--I didn't shave my armpits. Who shaves their armpits? At 16, I was proud to have what little hair I had. Then I realized--girls shave their armpits. My mom had bought me GIRLS' deodorant.

Well, I was finally convinced that it was unisex deodorant. I have lived under that guise for the last many years. Then, recently, Almay changed their container, from the one on the left, to the one on the right:

From manly blue to PINK AND PURPLE?!? And with decorative leaves, no less! This is definitely not special deodorant, and definitely not unisex, but rather, is straight up girls' deodorant. Sigh. No wonder I turned out as I did.

*Stacey does not agree with this. She pokes me in the armpit and says "look, they're not sensitive." She thinks it is the skin in my armpits that is sensitive. I make no distinction. That would be like my squirting lime juice in her eye, and when she says, "my eye hurts", I would say, "no, it is just your eyeball." Silly Stacey.